Who doesn’t love a good joke? Humor has the power to lift our spirits, bring people together, and make even the most mundane moments of life enjoyable. In this post, we have compiled a side-splitting collection of 150 funny jokes across various categories that you’ve never heard before. So, buckle up and get ready to laugh out loud!
Classic One Liners
- I used to play chess with a scarecrow. He was a worthy cropponent.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!
- I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little whine.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
- What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending.
- How does a train eat? It goes chew-chew!
Puns & Wordplay
- Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? The potatoes have eyes, and the corn has ears.
- I told my friend I was thinking of opening a bakery. He told me I kneaded a break.
- Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.
- I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
- How does a train eat? It goes chew-chew!
- What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending.
- I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
- What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- I used to play chess with a scarecrow. He was a worthy cropponent.
- What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
- Parallel lines have so much in common; it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, silly! Cow says “moo”!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Aw, don’t cry! It’s just a joke.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it’s pointless.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes the police, open up!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a funny joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce tell you another joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, cows go “moo”!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owl. Owl who? Owl be sad if you don’t laugh at this joke.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cereal. Cereal who? Cereal pleasure to meet you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open up, or I’ll start telling more jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, I prefer peanuts.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh—MOO!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honey bee. Honey bee who? Honey bee a dear and open the door.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Radio. Radio who? Radio not, here I come!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the peephole and find out!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Etch. Etch who? Bless you, again!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Theodore. Theodore who? Theodore wasn’t locked, so I just walked in!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!
Dad Jokes
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
- Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!
- How does a train eat? It goes chew-chew!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
- How does a train eat? It goes chew-chew!
- What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending.
- I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
- What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- I used to play chess with a scarecrow. He was a worthy cropponent.
- What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
- Parallel lines have so much in common; it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Light-Bulb Jokes
How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? One, they don’t like to share the spotlight.
How many photographers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes 100 pictures to get it right.
How many cats does it take to change a light bulb? Cats don’t change light bulbs; they make humans do it.
How many mice does it take to change a light bulb? Two, but they have to be very small to fit inside.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? The answer is left as an exercise for the reader.
How many grammar nerds does it take to change a light bulb? Too, because “to” and “two” are insufficient in this context.
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish.
How many procrastinators does it take to change a light bulb? We’ll do it later.
How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? What’s the point? It’ll just burn out again.
How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb? None, they’re sure it will come back on by itself.
How many introverts does it take to change a light bulb? Why does it always have to be a group activity?
How many extroverts does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but they’ll need a party to celebrate afterward.
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to screw it in almost all the way and another to give it a surprising twist at the end.
How many sci-fi fans does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and the other to travel back in time to prevent the bulb from burning out in the first place.
How many dog owners does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the dog has to supervise the entire process.
How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb? Three, one to change it and two to argue about whether the bulb was cruelty-free.
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change it and another to change it back again.
How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It’s a really obscure number; you’ve probably never heard of it.
How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb? Define “change.”
How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? Five, one to change it and four to argue about whether the old one was better.
How many art students does it take to change a light bulb? One, but they’ll need five years to do it and then call it “a commentary on the human condition.”
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s not a bug, it’s a feature.
How many environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb? None, they’re all too busy trying to save the planet by promoting energy-efficient LED bulbs.
AnimalJokes
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A python.
Why was the cat sitting on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don’t know the words.
How does a dog stop a video? By hitting the paws button.
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper.
Why was the cat so good at poker? It had the purrfect poker face.
What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? It barked with de-light.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
What do you get when you cross a sheepdog and a rose? A collie-flower.
Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? A try-try-tryceratops.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? “Dam!”
Why do elephants never forget? Because they have great memories.
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
Why do birds never use Facebook? Because they already tweet.
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a dessert? A python pie.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? “Bison!”
What do you call a cold dog? A pupsicle.
Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish.
What do you call a thieving alligator? A crookodile.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
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